Yearning for the Future

I’m sorry for not getting the binder review up, I was hoping to take pictures but I’m having technical difficulties with that.

I actually got a second one on Saturday, so I might make a review on it too. 

I’m probably gonna see if I can’t get a picture uploaded before posting the review, but if another week goes by, then I’ll post it as is!

Oh, so I had my first meeting with a new therapist on Tuesday!

New as in my first one since 4th grade, but regardless, I figure I’ll talk about it for a sentence or two haha.

She’s not a gender therapist, she’s just a high-school therapist that mostly deals with anxiety and intoxicants. ‘Course, I’m only going for the anxiety and depression and whatnot.

I was hoping maybe she’d know a bit about gender, but that was a miss.

She is really cool about sexuality though, so that’s good. She mentioned relationships and said “and boys or…..?” and then I explained to her what panromantic is and she said it was really interesting and she’d never heard of it before but she was fine with me identifying that way and wouldnt try to change me or look down on me for it. 

The only downside is she seems to be much more used to working with people who are Christian, and if not that than some religion, so she seems a bit uncomfortable in places where religious figures would normally be brought up, but it’s not too bad.

Anyways, I’m not sure if I’m staying with her or not, I’m going to at least one more session to see how we fit. 

I really wish there was a gender therapist around here that also does anxiety and depression for teens, so I could go without my mom questioning why I chose that place.

I had to go to the library to do a report, and later this class of freshmen came in. There were these two guys who sat next to me, and one of them whispered “is that a boy or a girl?” and then they kept arguing about my gender for a while. When I stood up and left after I finished, I heard one of them say “Okay, definitely a boy.”

I was wearing girls skinny jeans and wasn’t wearing a binder or really anything that constricts my chest much. 

I am a tad confused, but I guess pretty happy?

So I bought boxers on Saturday. Also boxer briefs.

Why did no one tell me the greatness of boxers before I am astounded.

Lucas and I tried on random guys clothing in the boys dressing rooms because the mens/young mens was full and it was fine until some lady with her son came in and then it got awkward as heck. But it was fun, so whatever.

I really want it to be Summer so I can get a haircut, it’s getting really long and I’m not passing as well anymore presumably due to it. I’d get one now, but my mom won’t let me, or she will but I have to explain to her that it’s my hair for half an hour and she’ll try to make me feel guilty the whole way there and tell her that theres not much school left to deal with if I don’t like it.

I’d cut it myself but I want it a certain way that I don’t really know how to cut properly, and I’m worried my mom would get mad the moment she found out.

cammyam:

ceasesilence:

fracturedrefuge:

dizzzypie:

mermaid-vision:

ARE

YOU

SURE?

BUT YOU MAKE SUCH A PRETTY GENDERQUEER PERSON!

HAVE YOU AT LEAST TRIED BEING TRANS*? YOU CAN’T JUST IDENTIFY AS CIS BECAUSE YOU ~FEEL~ LIKE YOU ARE CIS. YOU CAN’T JUST PLAY CIS.

Have you considered that maybe being abused made you like this? I really think you should look into why you’re having this delusion of being cis. I’m worried about you.

You don’t pass very well. You’re make other people uncomfortable.

(via cha0ticperfecti0n)

I just realized that all the friends I hang out with at all out of school know I’m trans* and sometimes go by the name Elliott and male pronouns except for two people.

I am actually out to so many people now when did this even happen?

Also my sisters coming home for a few weeks at the end of the month, so I’m devising a plan to make her make plans with me so I can come out to her ahah;;

I would really like to just get over the coming out process to everyone I already know this Summer because I mean I’ve been wanting to for two years and now that I’ve gotten this far, it just…It seems a lot easier, now. I have a group of really supportive friends and it’s really not so scary anymore. I mean, it still is to some degree, because I depend on and care about my family so much, but it doesn’t look quite as bad.

Before I left for New York I was trying to figure out what I’d wear for formal wear, and when I decided to pack my dress shirt and tie for ‘just in case’, I had to ask my dad how to tie a tie and then told him “I should just wear a dress actually, whatever,” and he told me I looked good in a tie and I just want to say how much I love my dad and it’s his birthday today and I really wish I could convey to him what a great dad he is. 

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Wow um that was unexpected but..cool?

I was skyping with my friend and I mean I post about my gender occasionally on my main blog but we’ve never really talked about it/mentioned it so I figured she just didn’t see any of the posts?

But then she was talking with me and she said “what if you were known as the most unphotogenic gir-” and then she stopped and said “or boy or whatever you want to be referred as or yeah”

I’m fairly certain that actually everyone in the entire world knows I’m a boy and accepts it except for my family.

tattooed-love-boy:

BINDING: for trans*folk, genderbenders, cosplaying, drag, whathaveyou!

Bandages VS. Binders

Bandages:

• Don’t bind with bandages! Ever!
• Using bandages to bind is harmful and may cause: shortness of breath, bruising, broken ribs, fluid build-up in lungs, long term health effects, etc! Yuck!
• You have other options! Bandages are not one of them!

Binders:

• Bind responsibly!
• Proper binders are sold through the ‘Net with all the great effects of binding with (fewer to) no side effects!
• Wear longer! More breathability!
• Binders can be purchased relatively cheap; new, used, or through a big brother program!
• Never wear a binder that is too small!

Caution:

• Never bind for more than 8 to 12 hours at a time!
• Never sleep in a binder!
• If you feel sick or out of breath, take off your binder!

Let’s be honest, as I’ve spoken about before, I am sick and tired of seeing people glorifying Ace bandages as a method of binding. Be it through art, literature, photography, videography, or otherwise, it’s not uncommon to see trans*folk bound via bandages. Time to raise awareness on this matter is long overdue, and I’m hoping to spread the word.

Don’t use bandages to bind, Ace or medical or otherwise! It does not matter how stretchy they are, it does not matter if they were advised to you through a “professional”, they are not safe.

Stop glorifying Ace bandages to bind! 

If you cannot afford a real binder, look into used sales or big brother programs, there are dozens around tumblr that are eager to help! You always have options!

Spread the awareness, spread the facts, bandages are harmful to bind with!

(Source: cat-breath, via robaemea)